I would love to tell you all about TNNA, but I’ve had a constant migraine since I returned and changed my pain medication. I haven’t slept more than 4 hours a night in the past week either, so I’m a bit hazy and my vision is blurry. R is taking me to my neurologist at 5:15pm tonight to see if there’s anything we can come up with to better the situation. I think that I had a lot less neck pain when I was on the muscle relaxer and I don’t think the new migraine preventative that he replaced it with is doing anything for me, so I’m going to ask him if I can switch those two again. I think that will help. I also want to know what he thinks about me injecting myself with Imitrex twice a day every day for a month, because it’s going to take a month for me to get off of these medications and I don’t know when my old migraine preventative is going to start working again. Supposedly once the pain meds decrease and I’m “detoxed” it’s supposed to start working again. My butt is starting to get pretty sore, because that’s where I inject myself with the Imitrex. I did the first injection in my arm, but I got a huge bruise, so that wasn’t going to go. Then I did two injections yesterday and one today. I would do another one, but it says not to do more than 2 in 24 hours and I can’t remember what time I did the second one yesterday… I think it was in the late afternoon, so I think I’ll wait until after I see the doctor. I shouldn’t be on the computer…

Oh!!  I just wanted to say, I saw this petition, and you should sign it!! And since I’m brain dead, I’m going to copy Tika‘s statement word for word,

Quincy Jones has started a petition to ask President-Elect Obama to appoint a Secretary of the Arts. While many other countries have had Ministers of Art or Culture for centuries, The United States has never created such a position. We in the arts need this and the country needs the arts—now more than ever. Please take a moment to sign this important petition and then pass it on to your friends and colleagues.

So, hopefully I’ll feel better soon, and I’ll be able to share more with you then! I did have a great time at TNNA, I met some wonderful people, read an awesome comic book about knitters who save the world, felt/petted gorgeous new yarns from a bunch of different companies, drooled over the new Hiya Hiya interchangeables coming out in April or May, and was overwhelmed by the positive response my garments (Sicily, the Burana Jacket and Wanda felted purse) received from being in the fashion show.

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Wish me luck!!  I have all kinds of of news about my health, but no time to post, so I’ll have to update you about all of that next week.  The interesting highlights include me getting glasses even though I have 20/20 eyesight and the finding that I have definite nerve damage in my lower back, possibly due to a tumor coming off of my S2 vertebrae, so I’m going to get an S2 nerve block injection to test that theory in 4-6 weeks whenever my new Stanford pain doctor can fit me into her schedule.  I’m also slowly going to ween myself off of my pain meds (read: all narcotics) over the next month, so I’m likely going to have horrible withdrawl symptoms, including horrific migraines with horrible nausea and the like, so there might not be much blogging, but I’m not going to start that process until I get back on Tuesday.  Wheeee!  That’s all for now, folks!  Stay tuned to Spinnity’s blog for photos of her up-sized Corsica!  I’m bringing it to TNNA with me (I think)! The new pattern with sizes to fit 44″-52″ busts should *hopefully* be out sometime next week, depending on migraine status!

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For those who are interested, the doctor I saw on Saturday diagnosed me with “gastritis,” which is the most generic of terms for stomach trouble. She told me to take Prilosec in the morning to reduce stomach acid and she prescribed another medication to take for stomach cramps.  So far, that has worked pretty well, although I still seem to get stomach cramps pretty much every time I eat.  She also told me to stop taking Aspirin, which I had been taking as a migraine preventative since about Thanksgiving.  She ordered some blood work, which I just got the results back for.  Apparently everything was normal except I have a high liver function, so she told me to avoid Tylenol, which is in the pain medication I take for breakthrough pain which is what I took all the time before I started taking the stronger stuff I’m on now, so that limits my options for what my doctors can put me on when they take me off the stronger stuff next week…  Hmm….  We’ll see.  I’m going to see a Gastroenterology specialist in a half-hour.  I’ll see what she says.

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Sorry, I had some technical difficulties with the post I just posted. Some of the photos didn’t work, and some of the information didn’t get posted the first time I posted the post. It should all be up and running now! I hope you’re having a happy Friday! Have a great weekend! =)

-Margit

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As promised, finally, here are some photos of the frogs I crocheted for my mom and the slippers I knit her for Hanukkah!

Here I am posing with the frogs. I thought my mom would enjoy these shots. =)

Here is the tree frog I crocheted her. Here’s the Ravelry link. It’s a great free pattern by Brigitte Read from Roman Sock.

Here’s the frog pin cushion I crocheted her. Here’s the Ravelry link. It’s another one of Brigitte Read’s free patterns from Roman Sock.

Notes on this pattern:

• I had to rip one round of the bottom mouth pieces because they were way too big for the top mouth piece/head, so I guess it’s smaller than the pattern would call for, but the top of the head is the right size, as are the feet and the lily pad…

• I used white felt instead of green felt for the lily pad because I didn’t have any green felt, but I used green thread to sew it together… so, it doesn’t really look like a lily pad, but oh well.  He’s cute any way, ain’t he?

You can see more photos of these frogs in my knitted toys set on flickr here (even though they’re crocheted)!

Here are the slippers I knit for my mom. Here is the Ravelry link. They were also a great free pattern, Mountain Form Slippers, by Jun Miyamoto, published in Tricoquelicot returns.

While I was knitting, I noticed the slippers were getting too long, so I shortened the stockinette section before the toe decreases. The opening was too big so I sewed it closed a bit, I think 3 garter stitch ridges worth, so the slippers would be nice and snug and warm, since my mom’s feet are about the same size as mine. You can see in the photo below the slipper on my left foot is how it looked before sewing it up and the slipper on my right foot is how it looked after sewing it up. Our feet are about size 7-7 1/2 for reference, if you’re knitting the pattern.

After we ran out of Hanukkah candles for my menorah, we used this candelabra and some random free-standing candles I had laying around to put together enough candles to light for the 6th through 8th nights of Hanukkah. It was pretty ghetto…

Helix’s nose is so skinny that it fits between the bars of the crate. He’s too cute!

He’s such a lapdog! I’ve become too lax with letting him jump on my lap whenever I say “Helix” or “Cutie Pie.” The other day when I was meditating, all of a sudden he ran across the living room and jumped in my lap. I was just sitting there silently meditating, and all of a sudden, WHOOOOSH!, the wind was knocked out of me as a 50 lb. Helix jumped on my lap after running about 15 ft across the room at full speed! I was so stunned that I opened my eyes and my jaw dropped and I just sat there, with the meditation CD still running. I looked at R, who was sitting on the couch, and he said, “You know, you can say ‘No!’” So, I did. I was in such shock though. Man. Bad dog. Cutie, though! Talk about meditation interrupted! At least I have managed to meditate almost every day (I think I’ve missed maybe two days) for the past 3 weeks or so.

TNNA Winter Trade Show Update

Unfortunately, because of my health, I’ve had to cancel my Spiral Cabled Chemo Cap class at TNNA. However, I will still be going to the trade show and wholesaling patterns and greeting cards made from my mother’s wonderful paintings of sheep in San Diego next weekend, January 17-19. I will be debuting my new Burana Jacket and Wanda Felted Purse in the Fashion Show on the 16th at 7pm. Sicily will also be making an appearance in the Fashion Show. Thankfully, my mother will be coming with me to help me out in the booth, since I don’t think I can handle it on my own.

I hope to see some of you there!
Stop by booth #1141 and say hi!

Thoughts on Mindfulness

Here are some things I wrote down during my mindfulness class this fall that I thought I would share with you…

• “The moment is uncomfortable because it’s something other than what you want it to be.”
• “Watch yourself struggle and let go; struggle and let go; struggle and let go.”
• “I am not the pain.  I observe the pain.  The observer is not the pain.”
• “Meditation is everything you do; every moment of your life.”
• “When you’re not kind to yourself, it’s hard to be kind to others.”

I watched Keeping the Faith yesterday, a great movie with Edward Norton, Ben Stiller, and Jenna Elfman. There was one line in the movie that an elder priest said to Edward Norton, who plays a priest (Ben Stiller plays a rabbi), that really caught my attention.

“The truth is, you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest, or if you marry a woman, it is the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept it is a choice that you keep making again and again and again.”

I think that this quote not just applies to choosing to be in a relationship, but it can apply to choosing a career as well. I think it is a good thought to meditate on, as people often seem to think they are stuck in one relationship or one job for life, that’s not true; it’s a choice that you keep making again and again and again. There are all kinds of consequences to your choices, but you still make choices every day.

The Yarn Harlot’s daily calendar let me subscribe to an email daily calendar, and I chose the zen-a-day calendar, which I got for a few years when I was in high school. I thought it might help me to have something to think about before I meditated every day. After seeing Romi‘s blog post today mentioning the Daily Om inspiration, I subscribed to it as well. I think the more zen inspiration I have, (hopefully) the less I will be distracted by the most recent movie or Netflix TV episode I watched, or my latest knitting design, or other things like that while I’m meditating.

A few days ago when I subscribed to the Zen-A-Day calendar, I had the idea of trying to keep a meditation journal and writing something down every day after I meditate (so far I haven’t written anything down).  One of the recommendations in the happiness book I’m reading (very slowly) is to write three things you’re happy about at the end of every day.  I was doing that for a while, but I stopped doing that a few weeks ago too.  Maybe I can combine that with my meditation journal.

R apparently found a gorgeous spider’s web freshly covered with rain, because I found these photos when I downloaded the last bunch off of my memory card…  (I LOVE my new macro lens!)

P.S. I think I may have gotten colitis or a stomach ulcer from going on the raw food diet… I’ve been having a LOT of stomach pain the past few days, and other unpleasant things I will refrain from talking about on the blog. I’m going to see a doctor tomorrow to investigate the problem more…

P.P.S. Here’s what it looked like at my parents’ a few weeks ago…

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I know I said I would post photos of my mom’s Hanukkah presents, but I’m overdue for starting the Fiber Fiends Ravelry Group Knit-A-Long, and I’ve been working hard on the sketch and schematic for the shrug I designed, so I’d like to share those with you today instead. Tune in tomorrow for actual FO’s!

Let’s begin! =)

I will post updates both here on my blog and in this thread in the Fiber Fiends group on Ravelry as we go along. Here are the sketch and schematic I drew up. I’ve named the shrug Esmerelda. Click on the image for a much larger view.

Yarn requirements are as follows: to fit bust 30 (34, 38, 42, 46, 50, 54): approximately 350 (350, 400, 450, 450, 500, 550)g worsted weight yarn.

This is just a guess, you might want to buy extra yarn, just in case… I will update these requirements as soon as I have completed a good part of my shrug and I have a better estimate of how much yarn it will require.

I’m knitting my shrug in Fiber Fiend Yumm, colorway Into the Fire, which would require approximately 3 (3, 4, 4, 4, 4, 5) skeins. I would recommend Fiber Fiend Yumm, Malabrigo Worsted, Blue Moon Luscious Single Silk, or a similar worsted weight single-ply yarn (or plied yarn for a different look) that will knit up to about 5 stitches per inch on US6 needles in stockinette stitch. If you buy Fiber Fiend Yumm for this project, email me after your purchase and include your Ravelry name so I can verify your Fiber Fiends group membership and I will refund you 20% off your purchase price (sorry I don’t currently have software to give you the discount before your purchase).

To celebrate having 100 members in the group, all yarn, fiber, and project bags at fiberfiend.com will be 10% off through January 15th. To get your discount, just email me after your purchase and tell me you’re in the Fiber Fiends group, (please include your Ravelry name so I can verify your Fiber Fiends group membership) and I’ll send you a refund through Paypal. Thanks, and I look forward to beginning the knitting! Look for the first instructions soon!

-Margit / Fiber Fiend

All information in this post, including sketch & schematic, are copyright Fiber Fiend 2009

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In other happy news, the Sexy Knitters Club KAL is doing cables for their KAL this upcoming quarter and I was asked to donate two patterns as random prize giveaways, so I chose one Corsica pdf and one Sicily pdf as prizes. You can read more about the giveaway on Ravelry here, check out the main group page on Ravelry here, and check out their blog here.

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My resolutions page is now published, in case anyone is interested. I am adding a link in the sidebar as well, just under recent entries. I added two more resolutions: one about communication, and one about posture.

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Yesterday was my 3-year bloggiversary! I think it’s appropriate that I stated my new year’s resolutions on that day. I think I’ll make a blog page for them so I can easily reference them throughout the year. One more I thought of yesterday and today to add is working on communication. It’s interrelated to nurturing relationships, but I think it should be stated as a separate goal/resolution. I’ve done a bit of work on my sidebar under “Find Fiber Fiend.” I’ve joined Twitter, so that will be part of my effort to improve communication. I will try to update my status on Facebook through Twitter, and update my design progress through my Fiberfiend.com Facebook page (which I just added to my sidebar), my blog, and my Fiber Fiends Ravelry group page. There are now more than 100 members in the Fiber Fiends Ravelry group, so the Knit-A-Long is overdue to begin. I have a rough sketch and yarn requirements ready, I just need to do a nicer sketch and get a schematic together and scan them before posting them here on my blog and in the forum as the first step in the KAL. The project will be a shrug with a cable that spirals around one sleeve, across the back, and down the other sleeve. I’ve named it Esmerelda. I hope you enjoy it!

If the wind blows right, I will hopefully be able to post photos of my mom’s Hanukkah present later today!

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I won’t lie to you, the last week has been hellish. However, I have been trying to be more upbeat, and I’d like to make that one of my new years resolutions, so I’ll tell you about the positive aspects of my week, and try not to emphasize the negative aspects too much.  Ok, I just re-read my post, and it seems I just can’t do that today.  So, if you want an upbeat post, skip this one and read my next post, which will hopefully be tomorrow, or skip to the bottom and read my new years resolutions.  If you’d like to know what’s been going on with me and my health, read on.

Since my last post, I saw my neurologist on Christmas Eve.  He increased the dose of one migraine preventative a few days earlier and it made me so tired I could not keep my eyes open on Christmas or for several days afterward, so I don’t remember much from that week, and I couldn’t accomplish anything, not even simple tasks.  I don’t celebrate Christmas, so I didn’t miss anything, but most of you can’t imagine how frustrating it is to go from being a successful Type A Super Busy person who accomplishes a TON of stuff every day to being completely disabled by pain and/or medication, unable to accomplish anything for days on end.  I phoned my neurologist several times and he told me first to go off of a different medication, and then to go off that medication.  I stopped that medication last Saturday, the same day R and I talked about trigger points releasing toxins and the possibility of going on a detox diet.

We started researching and we found this article, which states that a mostly raw, vegan diet improved symptoms in fibromyalgia patients in a study of 30 people. One other study also indicated similar results with a vegan diet. I first started writing this post about a week ago, before the new year, and before I started this new diet. It took me a week to finish the post because I got distracted first by researching all kinds of websites about nutritional information on raw diets and information about chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia being helped by vegan diets and raw diets, and then I had to stay away from the computer because I had such a horrible migraine and nausea, which included a trip to urgent care on Monday, because I couldn’t tolerate my dissolvable anti-nausea medication, so I needed injectible nausea medication to be able to go home and eat some plain rice and take my other medication before going to bed. I’ve been headachy, and I’ve had stomach and/or digestive trouble, and nausea every day since then.

I saw my neurologist on Tuesday, and he changed my migraine prevention regimen, but I’m still having daily migraines.  I’m seeing my three different types of pain doctors at Stanford for our conference where they present their treatment recommendations on the 14th, and they’re likely to take me off of my most potent pain medication, which is also what my neurologist recommended after my trip to urgent care where the injection of potent narcotics only dulled my migraine from a 10 to a 6 (he said such an injection would make him almost comatose), and it persisted for the next two days without a break.  Unfortunately, I’ve had 7 such migraines in the past 6 months, with episodes vastly increasing since I started on the more hefty pain meds, so my neurologist says he thinks I need to get detoxed from the most potent pain meds and then maybe (hopefully) my migraine preventatives will start working again. I just hope I can tolerate my back pain without that medication, because I couldn’t in September.  Anyhow, I meant for this to be an upbeat post!  I was initially hopeful that this new diet would bring me more energy and an improved quality of life.  However, after one week of constant nausea, stomach upset, and migraines, I could not take it any more.  So, my new plan is to eat plain rice and plain grilled chicken breasts with salads and other raw food, and healthy soups as tolerated until the nausea and stomach upset dissipates, and then come up with a new plan.  Whenever I have had bad migraines in the past I always resort to plain rice and plain grilled chicken breasts.  R thinks that my new diet could be causing my medications to make me nauseated.  There also is a detoxification process going on, although I stopped massaging my trigger points (did I mention that my pain physical therapist recommended this book and I had been massaging trigger points using a theracane with some great help for migraines for a few days the week before I started this diet, but then they started causing migraines, so I think I got an overload of toxins released or something, I don’t know — the trigger points started aching all the time without being massaged, so I’ve stopped massaging them for the most part now…).

Anyhow, here are my new year’s resolutions, inspired by Lori.  I hope you all have a great healthy happy 2009!

1) Be more positive. Think more positive. Blog more positively.
2) Blog more often, but not when I have a migraine. Health is of utmost importance.
3) Think before I buy. Make sure the stash fits in the bookcase by the end of the year.
4) Design R at least one, maybe two sweaters.
5) Try to publish one design per month.
6) Find the good in my work. This will apply when I go back to my day job…
7) Nurture Relationships and Build New Relationships. Work on sustaining my marriage and building healthy friendships with people who can offer me support when I need it. Keep in touch with my family. The past year has been the hardest one of my life. I’d like to leave it that way…
8 ) Exercise every day, even if it’s only walking one block.
9) Meditate every day.
10) Do physical therapy every day.
11) Be kind to myself, while concentrating on my health, and healing. Try to find ways to get better, and try to have perseverance, but be kind and gentle to myself.

Thanks, Lori, for your inspiration! (By the way, these are in no particular order. I think #1, and #7-11 are the most important.) Tomorrow, I hope to show you what I gave my mom for Hanukkah!

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